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What Men AND Women Really Think Of 7 Classic Sex Positions

They did NOT hold back...
Sex is … complicated. Of course, it can also be mind-blowing, surprising, awkward, or even flat-out horrible, depending on your chemistry, level of physical attraction and arousal, mood lighting, etc.
Like we've done in the past, we decided to interview men and women about their preferences regarding seven different sex positions.
It's safe to say that we got some, er ... colorful responses, and here they are:
1. Sex On A Chair
He said: "I dig this one. It gives me more control of her hips than when I'm lying down and she’s on top, plus it feels a little bit dirtier. And banging her from behind while she's draped over the arm of the couch is always fun too." — Nick, 31
She said: "Riding him on my knees while he's seated in a chair or on the couch is my absolute favorite position. You get the control of being on top, but it feels more intimate because he’s in an upright position and is closer to you, can be whispering dirty things in your ear, all that jazz." — Stephanie, 23

2. Legs Over His Shoulders Sex Position
He said: "This one is great for the guy because the penetration is so much deeper, plus the visual angle is great because we have a great view of going in and out of her. That's always hot."  — Tim, 27
She said: "I personally don't like legs on his shoulders. I feel like a lot of younger guys I've had sex with use this as a go-to because there's a lot of hype that women like it, but honestly unless your super flexible and already accommodated to his penis size, this position is uncomfortable and can be a little too much. Plus, everything is like, all scrunched up. Definitely not the most flattering angle." — Jenna, 22


3. Laying On The Bed While He's Standing Up
He said: "It's usually a quickie if we're having sex like this, but I like it because I get to see her boobs bounce around so much." — Ryan, 26
She said: "I like this position because I usually got into it because he threw me onto the bed, which is incredibly sexy. You have to make sure no one else is home though because it's definitely pretty obvious when the bed is creaking out of control." — Brianne, 24

4. Guy Holding Girl Up Sex Position
He said: "It's always hard to have to hold the girl up, but its also really fun every once in a while. Definitely on her birthday." — Sam, 22
She said: "I love it. It makes me feel like a rockstar because he's holding me up. Plus, it's very animalistic." — Tanya, 23

He said: "Appealing until you do it, but then you realize that there's not a lot of space and it kind of sucks." — Andrew, 23
She said: "Well, water washes away any and all … uh, natural lubricants, so, that makes it less fun." — Michelle, 33


6. 69 Sex Position
He said: "I hate when it gets to the point where you're really getting to enjoy yourself, and then she stops giving you head because she’s enjoying herself." — Mark, 30
She said: "I would literally hate for a guy to be on top when we’re 69ing. I would shove him off of me and be like ‘What are you doing?!’ He'd be crushing me.” — Brianne, 24

7. Cowgirl Sex Position
He said: "A lot of times they want to do certain motions to get them off in terms of clitoral stimulation, but it’s not really doing too much for me. Which is all good, go ahead and do it, but I will say that’s not my favorite part." — Nick, 31
She said: “I hate when guys try to change the motion and I’m like wait I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for me! Jeez, just give me a minute.” — Alyssa, 23

How To Save Your Marriage When You No Longer Find Your Spouse Attractive

It doesn't have to end your marriage.
Recently a reader contacted me regarding my Married Sex series to tell me her story in the hopes of getting some answers. We’ll call my reader Maggie.
Maggie has been harboring a secret for the last five years of her 20-year marriage. No, she isn’t having an affair, hasn’t decided she’s a lesbian, isn’t realizing she’s transgender and is not a spy for North Korea.
Her secret is more simple than that, but she fears it could spell the end of her marriage. Maggie’s secret? She no longer finds her husbandEddie sexually attractive. She’s suffering from a chronic case of sexual dissatisfaction and feeling pretty shallow.
Maggie and Eddie met when they were both freshmen at USC and lived in the College Uni dorms. They were part of a group of dorm dwellers who rented out an ice rink to play broom hockey, running around on the ice in their tennis shoes. Maggie recalls falling instantly in lust when Eddie body-checked her in front of the goal net.
Eddie played on the USC tennis team. He was long-limbed at six-feet tall and lithe. He had a full head of blonde, Byronic curls and a killer smile. Better yet, he was a one-woman man who fell deeply in love with Maggie.
Two years after college they married and quickly had three little boys. Eddie carved his way into a prestigious law firm while Maggie stayed home to raise their boys.
As Maggie explains it she often worried that Eddie might lose interest in her. She’d put on a substantial amount of weight with the birth of each baby. She sometimes felt she was a little boring “just being a mom.” And often didn’t take the time when the kids were really little to put on makeup and do something —anything — with her hair. But Eddie’s love never wavered.
Finally, when their boys hit high school, Maggie had a lot more time for herself. She decided to drop those extra pounds and started taking tennis lessons at the local rec center. Ironically, Eddie had entirely given tennis up while Maggie began to love it, getting so good she competed in local competitions, frequently winning trophies. She lost 30 pounds the first year playing tennis and 20 more the year after that, getting in the best shape of her life.
In the meantime Eddie seemed to gain all the weight Maggie shed, he lost most of his gorgeous head of hair and had taken up cigar smoking. All of this resulted in Maggie, quite simply, falling out of lust with her man.
She vows there’s no tennis pro hiding in her boudoir. That she hasn’t strayed but worries she’s doomed to a life of sexual dissatisfaction.
I asked Maggie if she’d spoken to Eddie about this and she said no because she felt like she was a selfish person who should appreciate him for who he is as a father and a husband. When your spouse not attracted to you, those things alone should be enough to make him attractive to her especially since he’d loved her through her own bout of self-described unattractiveness.
She worries that if she tells Eddie how she feels, their sex life will end entirely because he may no longer initiate.
My advice to Maggie was to be honest with her husband and let him know this is a problem for her, therefore a weak spot in the marriage. While I believe Maggie when she says she isn’t having an affair, I can’t help but worry that’s a possibility if the subject isn’t addressed.
My own 12-year marriage has certainly had its share of sexual ruts and times when your spouse is not attracted to you.
Just the other night I got into bed with Henry ready to snuggle up to sleep when he began to kiss me. Oh. This isn’t a peck. Perhaps this is a sexual overture? There’s only one way to find out.
“Henry?”
“Yes.”
“Should I take out my bite guard?”
“Yes, take out your bite guard.”
FLOOSHWACKAAAA. That’s what it sounds like when I take out my night guard. It’s especially sexy if there’s a lot of spit slinky-ing between my mouth and the bite guard when I remove it. Henry asked if I wouldn’t mind brushing my teeth before we resumed. Could it be he didn’t find the bite guard sexy?
I also only wash my hair twice a week or it gets frizzy so sometimes Henry asks me to please wash my hair before I get into bed because I “smell like an eight-year-old boy after he’s lost an egg-tossing competition and has a dozen yolks in his hair.” And don’t even get me started on my Irritable Bowel Syndrome because that’s just so sexxxaaayyy.
Henry isn’t always a perfect red rose either. One night we climbed into bed and Henry began to initiate sex after a month on a yeasty-white-bread-carb rampage. “Honey," I said in a sweet, dulcet voice, “I cannot have sex with that belly.” Oh yes, I did. Because I’m a little b*tch like that.
To say Henry was disgruntled is an understatement and I felt like a world-class wanker, but his reaction to this ignominy was to drop 10 
What I’m learning as we go along is that sometimes sex just isn’t that great or important, but there are other times when it flourishes again and can even be exciting. And communication about dissatisfaction, while it may seem unfriendly or mean, is often what it takes to get out of a rut.
I’d love to hear any suggestions you may have for Maggie and to hear how you’ve battled sexual boredom, lulls and lack of desire in your own relationships.
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The Psychology Behind Submissive Fantasies: Do Women REALLY Want To Be Ravished

Do women want to be submissive?
As a psychologist and couples counselor, I’ve been asked this question by men, women, and couples for the last twenty years. My specialty is helping couples bring back the passion in their relationship and using fantasy is one way of doing this.
And the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly, yet forcefully taken by her man is consistently in the top five female fantasies, often the number one fantasy. This is different than the “rape fantasy” which has often been misrepresented.
Of course, women don’t want to be raped; this is an act of violence and power, not one of love. However, as revealed in the always popular romance novels, the fantasy of a strong, powerful man initiating sex with a woman, not accepting her initial reluctance, and then loving her passionately, is a popular fantasy. This is not about abuse and power, as in most of these novels (and fantasies), the couple ends up married and living “happily ever after.”
So what’s the truth here, at least from a psychological perspective? When we first meet someone we’re attracted to we experience that initial chemistry and go into that “honeymoon” period, where our bodies are flooded with chemicals and we are “walking hormones.” 
However, this initial chemistry fades over time and we need to take steps to reignite it! To create sexual passion, there needs to be sexual tension and for this, there needs to be strong sexual polarity. We need to consciously create this in our relationship.
Polarity comes from strong masculine energy meeting strong feminine energy. Just like the positive and negative terminals of a battery create electricity, so will the masculine and feminine interact to create passion! Now each of us, male and female have an inner masculine and an inner feminine and either sex can express either aspect.
For the heterosexual female “ravish me” fantasy though, we’re talking about the man embodying the masculine and taking charge with those masculine qualities to be focused, direct, relentless in pursuing his goal, in this case, loving his woman into “submission.” This can range from simply initiating sex, to be a little more assertive than usual, to being more aggressive, to being a little “rough,” all the way to role play and using restraints and sex toys.
To use a simple example, I’m 6’3" and over 200 pounds and have found that many woman have simply enjoyed the weight of my body pressing into them and found that arousing. Perhaps that is enough to begin your journey. I also happen to have large hands (no euphemism here). I’m usually able to hold both of a woman’s wrists in one of my hands and even that small step can often be assertive enough to feed into the submission fantasy. Just consider what YOU can do to orient yourself in that direction, it doesn’t have to be “whips and chains.”
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, women want to know that their man can take care of them, can “hold” them, both emotionally AND physically.
I have a female friend who is close to six feet tall and she LOVES that her husband can physically hold her, pick her up, engulf her and make her feel like she’s a little girl sometimes.
If we believe that “form follows function” than if a man can open a woman sexually with his dominance than perhaps he can also metaphorically open her heart with his dominance. Perhaps there is part of each woman who wants to have her heart ravaged open, even more than her body? Don’t we all want our partner to help open our heart and experience more love?
Now on the flip side, there are times when a man enjoys his partner initiating sex in a more dominant and aggressive way as well. Being stuck in ANY role will ultimately diminish passion. We need to mix it up. But that’s a topic for another day
These are my thoughts about this question, “Do women want to be submissive?” I would love to hear your thoughts and comments about this and any other ideas for bringing back the passion in relationships.
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If this article interested you and you’d like to find out more ways to bring the passion back in your relationship, please go to www.freepassiontips.com to receive my monthly newsletter as well as my Special Report, “20 Rituals for Romance!” 

This Kinky Sex Act Kills Hundreds Of Men Every Year

s a mind-blowing orgasm worth it?
Actor David Carradine was found dead in 2009 in a Thai hotel room with a shoelace tied around his neck and genitals. In 1997, INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence was found dead, kneeling on the ground with a belt around his neck.
Nobody can ever know for sure, but it's rumored both men died while performing the kinky self-love sex act called autoerotic asphyxiation.
Now in the latest news on the death of Chris Cornell, lead singer of Soundgarden and Audioslave, some are wondering if his suicide by hanging may actually have been yet another tragic incidence of auto erotic asphyxiation gone terribly wrong.
While we've never tried autoerotic asphyxiation — and can honestly say we never will — we were curious to learn more about it.

Here are 5 facts we uncovered about this extremely dangerous form of BDSM edge play:

1. It's about your air supply.
Remember the "choking game"? Well, autoerotic asphyxiation is similar to that, but with the sexual element of masturbation thrown in.
In other words, a guy essentially strangles himself while jerking off. The idea, of course, is to free your airway after orgasm ... and remain alive.
Autoerotic asphyxiation is considered by some to be a paraphilia — an "intense and persistent sexual [interest] outside of foreplay and genital stimulation with phenotypically normal, consenting adults."
The colloquial term for those who do enjoy this fetish is a "gasper."


2. It can intensify orgasms.
Practitioners say it makes for a much more intense orgasm.
Dr. John Sims, Director of the Neurocritical Care Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital, stated that "It's like having sex while taking Ecstasy" — explaining that this isn't so much a choking fetish as it is a desire to feel really, really good.

3. It's mostly a guy thing.
It's practiced most by white males between the ages of 12 and 25. Many wear women's undergarments when performing it.

4. It (obviously) can kill you.
"Baggers" or "gaspers" place a plastic bag (to be torn when they desperately need oxygen) over their heads during self-pleasuring. Alternatively, they may tie a rope around their neck. Unfortunately, cutting off oxygen to the brain can cause you to pass out and unable to clear your airway. When that happens, this act of self-pleasure turns tragic.
While less than 160 Americans are thought to die from autoerotic asphyxiation annually, the risk remains notable. Usually, there are clues, like pornography near the body, that indicate what was going on.
Despite such details, these deaths are often classified as deaths by suicide.


5. Even if doesn't kill you, it can hurt you — permanently.
Cutting off blood supply to the brain can induce cerebral anoxia (oxygen deficiency to the brain) resulting in permanent tissue damage.
Other risky side effects include cutting, bruising, or lacerating the neck, trachea, and esophagus. These are all dependent upon the suffocation or strangulation technique employed.
More than anything else, it's important to know that there is simply NO SAFE WAY to perform autoerotic asphyxiation.

4 Things You Absolutely MUST Know BEFORE Buying Anal Sex Toys

Don't waste your money —​ or risk your health!
Admit it, you’re curious.
Or, better yet, you’re downright experienced in the joys of plundering booty!
Either way, you’re ready for an anal adventure. The butt is a wonderful erogenous zone, so allow us to teach you how to purchase a good anal plug, butt toy, or rear-end dildo. Ready to be an anal afficianado?
Ok, we’ll keep this simple. Here's what you need to look for when buying anal sex toys:
1. A good, thick lube.
Yeah, yeah, I promised to help with toys, and here I am talking about lube again.
But that’s what I do! Spit and butt sweat are not options, so be kind to your rear and lube it up. When it comes to ass play, too much lube is almost enough.
You’ll want it on the toy, on your fingers, on both anal sphincters (muscle rings, and yes there are 2), and all over the darned place.
Then you’ll want it on all of those places again. And again, a little later… repeat. Go with water based gels, high-quality oil-based lubes, or silicones… but never mix a silicone lube with a silicone toy! They fight. Really.

2. Start small with the smallest anal sex toy.
Your eyes are bigger than your anus, I assure you.
Yes, even you size queens know that you’ve made this mistake before!
Start tiny. Think junior tampon or pinky finger sized, but don’t stick a tampon in your butt because they’re dry and scratchy (see point #1).

3. Buy a smooth, high-quality anal toy. 
You want a high-quality toy that is absolutely smooth.
So, if it has a weird seam or anything jagged, you should be putting on your pants and running away.
No fabrics or other materials that harbor bacteria either, and this includes seemingly smooth jelly rubber.
Good materials include high grade silicone, Pyrex-style glass (toss immediately if cracked or chipped), smooth stone, specially treated wood, metal, or hard plastic.
I shouldn’t need to tell you to keep it well-washed, so I’m not even going to mention it. For beginners, I strongly suggest silicone, as it is nice and flexible yet easy to clean.
Again, don’t mix a silicone toy with a silicone lubricant.

4. Wider is better.
Hey, I’m not talking about the insertable part, see number 2 for that one.
I’m talking about that important flared base.
Your butt muscles are strong and mighty. While your butt doesn’t really suck things up, the muscles can pull things in.
With your fingers all slick (see #1), there is no way for you to keep a hold on that toy.
Sure, you can squat and push in hopes that it will slip back out, but if it doesn’t, then you’re in for a necessary-yet-embarrassing trip to the emergency room.
Instead, buy a toy that is meant for your bum, whether it is a butt plug(which just stays in), a dildo (which can go in and out, or stay in), or a vibe(which can go in your nose… kidding!).
The base should be far wider than the insertable part. 
So there you go! Take it slowly and lovingly. Go back to point #1 often.
Don’t expect it to necessarily be amazing your first time.
Once you get warmed into butt play you will find that it really can enhance your solo and partnered intimate experiences.

If You're Not Cliterate (Or Don't Even Know What That Means), Do NOT Have Sex

How cliterate are YOU?
If you’re not "cliterate," you definitely shouldn’t be having sex. Are you getting anxious right now? Do you have no idea what cliterate means? Are you worried about the future of your sex life?
Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. Most people don’t learn how to be cliteratewhen they get their sex education. Take a deep breath, my friend, because you can still learn.
According to sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author, Ian Kerner, “Being cliterate is understanding female sexuality, privileging female sexuality, respecting female sexuality.” 
Honestly, you should take it from him because this man knows a whole lot about pleasuring the ladies. In fact, he even wrote a book about it called She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.
Unfortunately, when it comes to sex education, female anatomy and pleasure are largely neglected. While women are having sex all the time, it’s not exactly consistent with them having satisfaction or actual pleasure. In fact, orgasm isn’t even the tell-all event of pleasure. It is a lot more complicated than that and involves relaxation, presence, fantasy, and awareness.
Understanding the female anatomy is important for women to pleasure themselves and for the partners of women to bring them to the ultimate bliss.
“As many as three-quarters of women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. In fact, just eight percent of women can reliably orgasm this way, studies estimate. An 'ilcliterate' individual might write off such information as proof that women just aren’t as sexual as men or that their bodies aren’t hardwired for pleasure. But women who are in same-sex relationships have similar orgasm counts to men and achieve climax in the same amount of time as their hetero male counterparts. The same is true when women pleasure themselves. Women’s bodies are not the problem. The problem is that most of us don’t have a full understanding of how they work,” an article on Huffington Post states.
In an effort to shed a little more awareness about becoming cliterate, here are some facts that you might not know:
There’s a lot more to learn, everyone. So, whether you want to pleasure a woman or you are a woman who wants to pleasure herself, it’s time to get cliterate. Watch this video to learn more:
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